Unseen wounds: the impact of parental microaggressions on self-esteem,self-acceptance and identity formation

Abstract

Microaggressions, a popular framework in race theory, as Derald Wing Sue defines are brief, commonplace, daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental dignities that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults towards people of color. This may be voluntary or involuntary. With the help of this study, the aim is to understand the nature and form of microaggressive behavior in Indian parental relationships and its effect on social psychological variables namely self-esteem, self-acceptance, and identity formation. The study used a qualitative approach. However, the data collection process was two phased: a convenience based screening questionnaire was administered and participants who scored above 60% in it were selected for in-depth semi-structured interviews (n=10). Thematic analysis was followed to make sense of the raw data. hrough the lived experiences of 10 participants, the research brought forth deeply embedded patterns of subtle emotional invalidation, ranging from passive aggression and comparison to suppressed autonomy and conditional acceptance of emotions. Repeated instances of crushed confidence, often triggered by invalidating caregiver responses, shaped feelings of worthlessness and fostered coping strategies like hyper-independence and perfectionism.The struggle for autonomy, particularly around life choices like career and relationships, revealed how familial influence, masked as care or concern, can sometimes override individual agency, reinforcing the tension between personal desires and collective expectations. Another central theme was the internal justification of parental behavior, where, despite recognizing harm, participants often rationalized it through cultural narratives of sacrifice and duty. This duality reflects the profound influence of India’s collectivist and hierarchical family structures, where respect for elders often supersedes emotional needs. These findings emphasize the complex psychological consequences of microaggressions in caregiving relationships. The study was limited to an urban-upper middle class population, henceforth lacking a broader scope of generalisation. The sample did not include middle children of the sibling hierarchy, so their perspective could not be included. Addressing these limitations and incorporating parent-child dyads in the future research for data collection would be a comprehensive way to understand the impact of microaggression in culture specific context. It also suggests a psychoeducational model of parenting as an intervention